Motivation

it's such a WONDERFUL feeling knowing that i haven't been bored once during this entire 3-week vacation. that's pretty amazing considering how extroverted i am - i think i'm nearly 100%. that means that when people are not around, i am almost not functional. obviously not all the time, but it is a struggle most of the time to find the motiviation to do anything when i'm alone. the biggest motivator during that time is being excited about an upcoming, scheduled time i WILL see someone. to give a concrete example, if i come home from work to an empty apartment with no plans for the evening, i find myself staring at the wall or tv with not even the desire to make dinner and eat. but the minute my roommate walks through the door, i get up off the couch and suddenly feel energized to do any of the things i need to get done, be it laundry, dinner, dishes, grading... the same is true if i know i have plans for the evening. i can get stuff done when i need to.

i'm extremely efficient, as one friend said this break. yes, i'd like to say that's true about me. and for the most part, it's a pretty good trait but it becomes problematic when i get everything done i need to, even want to, and then find myself with nothing to do. back to staring at that darn wall. that kind of happens a lot. how sad, huh?

so that's why it is pretty good that i didn't find myself bored during the last few weeks. going back to Texas did take a chunk of it. family-time and my one-friend-in-Texas-time was good. very good. then back here in what has become my home - spending lots of time with friends and, of course, with George's wedding.

As much as I love my current life, it is far from most everyone who knows me really well. my family, most of my closest friends - why are they all so far away? so it's good remembering what my interactions are like with those who have known me for years and years and years. i love feeling KNOWN. and oddly enough, instead of making me feel like regressing back to only my old friendships, it gives me the desire to develop new ones that are equally deep and unconditional. that has been a problem here because i feel like it just takes SOOOO long to form new friendships that i lose motivation to try.

sidenote, but i heard this on NPR. while a guy was out of town, he put his friend in charge of housesitting his apartment. this particular friend is known to be a prankster but he was still surprised when he walked into his apt after the vacation. the ENTIRE place was covered in foil. not just the walls, but all of the furniture, each individual book, cd, fork, and coin. Even his toilet paper had been completely unrolled, covered in foil, and then re-rolled. crazy, huh? and when the interviewer asked his friend why he did it, he said 2 reasons. 1) he was bored. 2) it showed his friend that he cared for him. guys are weird. but you gotta give this guy credit for his dedication and creativity. i always appreciate that.