i got this mosquito bite more than a month ago on my left ankle. i guess i scratched it too hard, but it wasn't until a few days ago that the scab finally fell off. of course, it left a nice scar that'll stay w/ me for a while.

as i get older, i notice that the time it takes to heal from scars (both physical and emotional scars) gets longer and longer. does my heart, like my skin, not have the same resliency it used have? or is it just that "grown up" scars are deeper?

that being said, i went thru some emotional turmoil a few weeks ago. it crippled me...and it brought me to my knees before God. a bruised reed, bowed over w/ wounds. I was a bit resentful towards God who had wired me to be a certain way...this way that only seemed to get me into unhappy situations. In anguish, i cried out, "why?"

But soon afterwards, i received my answer. The "why" was for no higher purpose than to make me fall completely and utterly in love w/ Him again. He made me aware once again of His infinite power and tenderness. I prayed that i would find the right words to pray, that I would be seeking the right thing and I would once again be able to believe in the goodness of God.

And i found it. I received peace. it was thrilling and yet so soothing. it was the loveliest, most amazing experience in the world. I clung to God like never before because I knew that one step away, and I wouldn't feel the comfort of His protection. relinquishing my power and will brought a quiet warmth.

It turned out that the peace was more like the eye-of-the-storm than the first day of spring, but it equipped me well for this new phase. Although my circumstances are ever-changing, my spirit is not. my footsteps feel unsteady, but my gaze is steadfast on my Father. i'm unsure of a lot of things, but trusting in Him, the ultimate healer, brings assurance of my wholeness once again. =)