I found it scary at first but i think i'm beginning to like it again - how suddenly life can change...even in just one conversation. I used to embrace change, anticipate it, almost yearn for it. In some ways, that's how i ended up in LA (a new city, a new job, a new life)...but I guess I've changed over the years. What about me now envies stability? Why do i crave comfortability? Am i getting too complacent in this world? But as I'm forced to confront change, I'm learning to look it in the eye and recognize some old part of me...relearn what I've unlearned. Maybe I'm learning to let go and fall back into the guiding hands of Him. Yes, I think that might be it.

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At the dentist, I was flipping through Reader's Digest. I came across this joke. I think i find it funny only b/c i identify with it. What does that say about me??

"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Control freak. Now you say 'Control freak who?'"

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2 things i loved this week: Garden State and Lord of the Rings night @ the Hollywood Bowl.
the 1st was soo good...it hit me in a special way at this point in my life. why do i find Zach Braff's character attractive? weird.
the 2nd was just wonderful. I love being outdoors. I love LOTR. I love falling in love w/ orchestra music again. What more could i ask of an evening? And i wouldn't have even needed this but dude, we gourmet picnicked: salmon w/ mango salsa, jasmine rice, humble fog cheese and crackers, fig spread, grapes, Didi Reese cookies and brownies...yum.

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School has begun. I can't for the life of me remember my new students' names. It's already the 11th day of school and I still barely even recognize faces, much less names. This is truly a sign that I am getting older. I was much better my first 3 years. But i think it may be all the added responsibilities i'm carrying this year. Sci. dept. chair, discipline committee chair, lead instructor for a district grant, literacy cadre member, and maybe more...? Am i spreading myself too thin too quickly? So far, it's been such a good learning process. Tough and some crying after butting heads with some teachers, but a good growing experience. But i'm not burnt out from the year yet. We'll see what happens.

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oh, one more thing i loved this week: my toes! or more precisely, my toe-nails. I got a pedicure on my day off last week. (i love jewish holidays). i went w/ my new coworker to get CHEAP ones in monterey park. $13 for a french pedicure! yay! and they look so fake but so pretty. i guess this is why girls go to these things.