jumble...

yesterday, i had contact w/ harry potter in 3 different media: i watched OotP, i listened to the audio file of SS while rollerblading @ the beach, and i'm re-reading HBP in anticipation of #7.

i wanna know i wanna know what's going to happen! BUT i'm dreading the end of this fantasy world so much that i'm gonna wait to read the last book. that means i'll have to frantically plug my ears and sing loudly while others discuss it, but being gone for 2 weeks in china should put me far enough away. i'm saving it till i get back - that'll give me something to look forward to when i come home, not to mention something to do while i'm still jet-lagged.

speaking of which, am i ready to go?? not yet! eeek! but the greatest blessing and prep has been meeting w/ my teammate on a weekly basis. i'm so thankful for her and that we can ground ourselves in prayer before we leave.

so i spent last week at Camp Alandale. it's a christian camp for foster children.

the theme for the week

random snapshots throughout the week: it was non-stop from 7am - 11pm...we kept the kids busy w/ fun activities, stuffed them w/ food, and spent a lot of time w/ bible stories and memory verses. for many of these kids, this is the only time all year that they are near adults who shower them with love and attention, not to mention show them how to walk the Walk. speaking of showers, i didn't take one for 4 days! no time! hence, the hat. yuck, huh? =)


up until a few days before our session started, the staff had only 3 confirmed counselors. Heidi recruited me at the last minute to pull the # up to 8 - so when we arrived on Sunday, i was greeted w/ the biggest smiles and tightest hugs. it's an incredible feeling to know that YOU are an answered prayer!

and i went from feeling *pumped* to getting really sick on Monday. I was dizzy, throwing up, and completely out of commission... and i questioned God - why had He brought me here if i was going to be useless.

His plan, as often happens, was different than mine. i did get better by Tuesday and got to spend the rest of the week with my 2 campers. over and over again all week, we told the kids how precious they were to God - that not only is He a treasure but that they are a treasure to Him. in the end, i can't say for sure how effectively He used me, but i do know that the message seeped into my heart and was exactly what I needed to hear. independent of my usefulness, of all the low self-confidence issues i have, I am a treasure to God, I am valuable to Him.
the heavy part of camp was hearing the kids' stories. it made me so angry - the tales of abuse, neglect...by parents and even foster parents - all right here in california! and while some of the kids have truly let God into their hearts, many have not. it was hard saying goodbye, letting them go back to their difficult lives - but i'm learning what it means to take His yoke. it would be too hard to carry the burden of their stories with me, it has been hard carrying the stories of my orphans from last summer - on my own, if i kept this up, i would just get more and more weary & weighed down. it's too much to hold in one human heart. but i'm learning to lift it up to God, to trust that He'll protect these children, and even better, that He'll finish their stories and make them into testimonies.