End of my first week at camp...

At the beg of this week, I was SO tired and thought, "Gosh, i'm too old for this!" But then i looked around and found so much encouragement in the # of families that are here... esp. the older parents w/ their teenage kids. How beautiful to serve together - it's exactly what i've always wanted to do w/ my future family.

It's also amazing to be around so many people on my team who have adopted or are currently in the process. There are even families who are specifically looking to adopt a special needs child. I think to my time volunteering at Westside Pregnancy and the callers that asked about the timeline for abortions...when was the latest they could have one if they found out their child had down syndrome? Some people think that special needs children are erasable... but there ARE people out there who want them. I find that such an image of God's love here on earth.

Back to my kids...

during craft time, the kids filled the pages of their Memory Books. Here, Linda is tracing my hands and making a butterfly w/ the shapes...

the last night, we spend writing letters to the kids & they write letters to us. At the Farewell Ceremonies on Friday, the translators read aloud our (translated) letters.

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For some reason, i didn't expect it to be as bad this time, but the goodbyes were just as tearful and painful as last year. Actually, after it was all over, i found Martina catatonically lying in bed and she said to me, "You didn't tell me i'd be traumatized when i signed up to come!"

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It's hard not to lose it when the kids are lining up to be loaded onto the bus and their eyes well up w/ tears, some sobbing so hard they're wailing. I kept repeating to myself that I HAVE to lift these kids up to God and trust that He'll take care of them...even as the images of what they told me about their orphanages flooded my mind (24 kids w/ 2 adults, so poor that they've never had a single piece of new clothing, some kids so mentally handicapped that Maria didn't even want to take the Domino set i gave them b/c she was scared those kids would eat or attack others w/ the pieces...).

And Martina echoed the thoughts i had last year - is this heartbreak for them worth it? Are we destroying them by making the rest of their lives tasteless compared to this week? Now that they know what they're starving for...?

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But i *have* to believe that Love builds and that Love heals.

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i take SO much heart from Maria. I met her last year and immediately noticed the burn scars over her face and body. In addition, she was a sullen child who grunted most of the time b/c she couldn't properly communicate w/ anyone (she only knew her rural dialect, not Mandarin). This year, it's harder to detect some of her scars...they're fading in color - and just as her outer scars are healing, so is her soul. She's blossomed into a joyful child who spent most of the week initiating kisses and talking a mile a minute. It repeatedly took my breath away how different she is - and it helps me to continue believing that what God has begun in these children, He will finish.

i wish a picture could capture how absolutely beautiful she is...

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I think of how scared Maria was to step into the pool at the beginning of the week... even at the shallow end, she would flail like crazy until i would tell her to put her feet down and she realized she could touch the ground. But by Thursday, she was off on her own - exploring where she could go and what she could do. It's like she just needed that inital hand of help and someone to believe in her. And in her goodbye letter to me, she said she's no longer scared of deep water. I just hope that by loving these kids and reminding them that we believe in them, they can face the deeper waters of real life...

Anyways, after all the emotional exhaustion, we let loose on Saturday. Some people went crazy by shopping and others (incl. me) got out to a nature/adventure park.

this is a totally ghetto go-cart but it went pretty fast! i think i was trying to make an aggressive racecar-driver- face, but as always, i just ended up looking like dork.

me & some of my teammates... can you guess where we are? looks like a bridge, right?? wrong - we're actually standing on this:
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eeeek! YUP - we went BUNGEE JUMPING! i think my mom's going to *kill* me for going, but i was standing there thinking, I can't say went and merely watched other people jump. Even though i never really had the desire to jump before, you know what pushed me over the edge? it only cost ~$20. (although now that i think about it, that *should've* scared me off...) i have a videoclip of it all and i'll try posting it once i get back home.

it's been a restful Sabbath, just preparing for next week's kids. who knows what God will bring? it's exciting! thank you to all who are thinking of us here in China!